England v Belgium – live!

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HALF-TIME MUSICAL ENTERTAINMENT:

"Go away you small boys."

HALF TIME: England 1-0 Belgium. It wasn't always pretty, but the Roy Hodgson honeymoon continues. He's got Danny Welbeck to thank; what a superlative dink over Mignolet for the goal. That's as good a finish as you'll see in the next month or so. "Again, Andy Townsend begins with the word "again" when he didn't say anything before," sighs Sarah Chandler. "Come on Andy, my boy's literacy depends on you. The longest attention he ever pays to the spoken word is to Andy Townsend's spoken words."

45 min: Still, look at the scoreline, and England's lead was nearly doubled here. Simons is robbed of the ball by Milner, who reaches the byline on the right and cuts a low ball back for Gerrard, on the edge of the area. England's captain takes two shots at goal, both on target, the first blocked by Simons, the second by Gillet. Eventually Belgium bundle clear.

43 min: Belgium still look the side less frightened of the ball. They're stroking it around in a very confident fashion. Pass, pass, pass, pass, passity pass. England make off with the ball a couple of times, Young and Welbeck taking turns to wheech upfield, but both players gift possession back with indecent haste. England can't afford to carry on like this at Euro 2012.

40 min: Belgium come straight back at England, Fellaini working away down the right and winning a corner off Parker. From the set piece, the ball's worked back to Hazard, who sends an ambitious shot straight down Hart's throat from nearly 35 yards. That's good handling by the keeper, who for all England's problems, hasn't actually had much to do. And that ball was swerving around in mid air. "Don't let that goal justify this absurd front three," begs Michael Paul Messenie, who is either never happy, or very possibly Belgian.

36 min: "ENGLAND CAN'T GET GOING AT ALL UP FRONT." PULITZER, PLEASE! England 1-0 Belgium. This is a brilliant finish. Gerrard robs the ball just beyond the centre circle, and prods it forward to Young, who clips an instant dink down the inside-left channel. Welbeck is sprung clear, with Vermaelen miles behind his other defenders and playing the Manchester United man onside. Welbeck, sliding down the inside-left channel and into the area, draws Mignolet and dinks an exquisite finish over the keeper and into the net. That's more like it from England.

35 min: Gerrard tries to free Welbeck down the inside-left channel with a looping pass, but it's easily cut out. England can't get going at all up front. "I just checked the FIFA website to see if they agree with your assertion that Belgium are the best team not at Euro 2012," reports the brilliantly monickered Brian Cloughley. "They give that distinction to some mob called Uruguay. Actually, Norway are the highest ranked European team not to have qualified. Belgium are as low as 44th, behind the bohemoths of Wales, Slovenia and Hungary. So there you are. Totally meaningless but vaguely interesting nonetheless."

33 min: What's Wrong With English Football In A Nutshell (pt 1 in a series of 34,987). On the Independent Television channel, Andy Townshend suggests that England need to do something to get themselves going. He argues that a tackle would suffice. You don't need me to comment on this.

30 min: Sixty seconds of centre-circle sauce. Parker is booked for a late slide on Mertens. Almost immediately afterwards, Cole clumsily lunges into Hazard, a real ankle-botherer. He's lucky not to see yellow too.

28 min: Cahill has taken a whack to the jaw, by all accounts, but nothing too serious. As we thought, Roy is simply taking no chances. "Why isn't the camera in line with the centre circle?" thunders Matthew Charlesworth, showing an attention to detail otherwise missing from this MBM. "Again, what a shambles."

26 min: A gorgeous one-two between Hazard and Mertens down the left sends the latter free. He's unceremoniously clipped to the floor by Johnson, who should be booked but isn't. Free kick, just to the left of the England area. Hazard whips a ball to the near post, where Fellaini is this close from chesting the ball down and poking home from six yards. Lescott does well to get in the way, England finally bundling the ball clear. Belgium were close to the opening goal there. The English need to up their game.

24 min: Witsel sends a fizzer just over the bar from 20-odd yards. Oxlade-Chamberlainesque. "Tell us the good news," begs Paul Scott. "Will the bugling band be banned abroad?" Aw, let's not be cruel. The lads will want to watch the match. Maybe we can just hope their instruments get loaded onto the wrong plane?

22 min: England's midfield is a complete shambles, though. Fellaini, Witsel and Hazard are winning plenty of the ball, and it's rare they find no space to skitter into. It's almost as though Steven Gerrard should never, ever, ever, ever, ever be stationed in central midfield. Rafael Benitez worked this out eight years ago, it can't be that hard, surely?

19 min: Cahill is a bit shaken after his coming together with Hart, and is replaced by Lescott. That doesn't look too serious, but Hodgson is clearly taking no chances.

17 min: Fellaini turns on a sixpence in the centre circle, and streams away into acres of space. He lifts a ball down the inside-right channel for Mertens to chase. Cahill gets in ahead of him, shepherding the ball back to Hart, but the keeper fannies around. Mertens is in hot pursuit, and shoves the defender in the back. Cahill clatters into Hart. Mertens chases after the loose ball, and tucks it home into the empty net from a tight angle on the right. It'll not count, though, and the cheeky Mertens is yellow carded for his slapstick challenge. Nice calm finish, though.

14 min: Former England hopeful Oxlade-Chamberlain cuts in from the left, and has another first-time shot, latching onto Welbeck's pullback and skelping a very decent effort just over the bar from 20 yards. He's going to be some player, this lad.

12 min: Vertonghen picks the ball off Johnson's toe as the England full back advances on the Belgian area. He flicks the ball up the wing to Hazard, who immediately shuttles the ball to the left touchline for Mirallas. It's lovely one-touch stuff, proper fluid football. England respond through Parker, who showcases an English Challenge on Mertens. Free kick. Belgium ping it around again, to the sound of whatever "ole" is in Flemish. Mirallas nearly executes a successful one-two on the edge of the England area with Hazard, but the ball skips ahead of him. "Belgium certainly look an up and coming side," writes Simon McMahon. "I think they could give England a fright today. But as a Scot I'm hardly in a position to lecture other countries on how to get results in international football. My main concern is that the Belgians could do serious damage to Scotland's chances of qualifying for the next World Cup. If in fact we had a chance to begin with."

10 min: Johnson goes on a wee rampage down the inside-right channel, but can't find a decent pass or the time to get a shot away. Still, after a very poor opening few minutes, with Belgium enjoying the upper hand, England have responded well with a couple of sorties.

8 min: That's me ruined Oxlade-Chamberlain's career, then. Sorry about that! Milner makes it to the byline down the right, then pulls a ball back to the edge of the area, where the young Arsenal winger is steaming in from the left, clear of any Belgian markers. He takes a first-time shot goalwards from the edge of the area - but gets it all wrong, slipping as he screws a hopeless shot miles high and wide. Wah!

7 min: Oxlade-Chamberlain goes on a skedaddle down the left. He's eventually upended - fairly - by Gillet. But that's the first positive moment for England. He's going to be some player, this lad.

5 min: Young is brushed easily off the ball in the centre circle. Hazard makes off with the ball, slipping it wide left to Mirallas, who looks to curl one into the top-right corner from the left-hand edge of the England area. The effort is deflected out wide left, for a corner, which is wasted. Belgium already look in the mood for this. England need a bit of time on the ball; they've had precious little of it so far.

3 min: England have touched the ball! The captain Gerrard it is. He touches it by stepping on the top of it, and nearly falling over. This allows Dembele to steam towards the England area. Luckily Parker is close by, as is Cahill, and the pair manage to bundle the Belgian striker off the ball. Danger over, but England were wide open there for a couple of seconds.

2 min: "You know, if this England team lined up with Milner and Parker in front of the defence, Young, Gerrard and Oxlade-Chamberlain in a line of three and Welbeck up front, I reckon they could be pretty tasty," opines Phil Sawyer. "But they're not going to line up like that, are they?" England haven't touched the ball yet. Does that answer your question?

Anthems are sung, coins are tossed, tat is exchanged, hands are shaken - and we're off! Belgium get the ball rolling. There's a lovely carnival atmosphere at Wembley, almost as though everyone's been drinking German Yellow Amusement Enhancer all day under a hot sun.

The teams are out! England are in their slightly unpleasant white-and-red-and-where-the-hell-is-the-blue home kit, having dispatched their Revie-era tracksuit tops to the kitbag. Belgium, who should be playing in first-choice red, are wearing their black alternative strip instead. Well done, modern football, well done for that. "Roy seems to have been employed as a school teacher in Sweden, as his whiteboard reads 'Fixed Rules: no favouritism'," notes Ian Copestake, understandably paying more attention to the pretty pictures accompanying this report than the drivel below them. "I imagine it will not be long before Terry is in detention."

Mr Roy's golf swing: Straight down to important matters, and ITV have just shown footage of Hodgson teeing off at some charity golf event earlier in the week, alongside former breakfast-time patter merchant Adrian Chiles. The Hodge is left handed, but for the record no Bubba Watson he. A criminally short backswing, the club head barely reaching the height of his shoulders, though in fairness he manages a reasonably high follow through. "At least it went forward, that's the main thing," he smiles as he sheepishly picks up his tee and skulks off down the fairway, his morbid defeatism on public display for the first time since that stint at Anfield. I didn't catch Chiles' drive, incidentally, but he was looking very pleased with himself. Is that news?

Referee: Peter Rasmussen (Denmark)

The best team not at Euro 2012, with Vincent Kompany dropping out injured during the warm-up: Mignolet, Guillaume Gillet, Simons, Vermaelen, Vertonghen, Hazard, Fellaini, Witsel, Mertens, Mirallas, Dembele.
Subs: Renard, De Camargo, Pocognoli, Chadli, Benteke, Vossen, Lukaku, Odoi, Nainggolan, De Ceulaer, Defour.

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is handed his first start for England, with Danny Welbeck given a run-out up front: Hart, Johnson, Cahill, Terry, Cole, Milner, Parker, Gerrard, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Young, Welbeck.
Subs: Green, Jones, Baines, Lescott, Jagielka, Henderson, Downing, Defoe, Rooney, Carroll, Walcott, Butland.

The country starts getting carried away / slips into a needless funk at: 5.15pm.

But while it's a happy day for the man himself, the natural culmination of a stellar 32-year management career which has seen his methods translate well from Halmstad to Malmö to Örebro to Neuchâtel Xamax to the Swiss national team, let's keep things in perspective. It's a warm-up match, a training exercise, a last trundle out for the lads before Euro 2012 starts in earnest next weekend. That's all. Nothing to see here. I should probably hype it up a bit more, tell the truth. But I'm not going to. Regarding this matter, you'll have to bite me.

So finally, after years of wanting, yearning and needing, Roy Hodgson leads an England side - his England side - out at Wembley Stadium. And on Diamond Jubilee weekend as well! What a glorious nation! Read More [category Sport][tags England, Belgium, Friendlies, Football, Sport]